I’m prepared. I’ve studied the SAT prep guides inside and out, I attended every single one of my SAT prep courses, and I’ve taken hundreds of practice tests. I’m ready. I heard you get 200 points just for getting your name right. I’m handed the test. The proctor tells us to fill out our personal information, we have ten minutes. I write in my name and fill in the appropriate bubbles. Shit. No one prepared me for the race section. How do fill in one bubble for my race? I don’t want to be an “other.” What is an other anyway? I start to get anxious, my heart starts beating…only four minutes left. I’m having a hard time holding the number two pencil in my hand. Will people think I’m cheating if I fill in African American? Is it cheating? I’m not fully African-American, but my mother is. What about my Caucasian father? My Jewish friends tell me that you’re Jewish if your mother is Jewish, so I decide to circle that bubble. Ok, it’s done. Sorry dad.
I got into the school of my dreams – my first choice. It’s a beautiful campus with ivy circling all of the buildings. Most of the students here are white. I’m half white, but I’m clearly darker than the majority. I can tell they only think I was accepted because of my race. No one ever asks me my SAT score or my grade point average, they just assume I’m not as qualified as they are. Maybe they’re right, maybe I don’t belong here. I don’t have a lot of friends. I’m not black enough. I’m not white enough. What if I hadn’t filled in that bubble?
