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Mountain in my Dreams

Mandy's Sex! Gender! Identity! Channel

asutherl.public


Mountain in my Dreams
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I’m at the foot of the mountain. It’s not a normal mountain with jagged edges with trees and rocks, no…this is a phallic mountain. This mountain is smooth and nearly impossible to get to the top, but I must do it. I have to get away from whoever’s chasing me. I do not know who is chasing me because he keeps morphing into other another man – some are familiar, I recognize my older cousin, however some are guys I barely know – the guy who whistled at me when I walked into the gas station, but the others are strangers. Scary strangers…with mustaches. I’m having another nightmare. I know I’m dreaming but I can’t wake up. I try to scream, but nothing comes out. I’m completely silenced. I’m at the stage in my dream where I have no control over the plot.

I keep running. What is that noise? Clip, clop, clip, clop? It sounds like a two legged horse! I look down…it’s me! Why am I wearing these ridiculous stilettos? They’re not negatively affecting my running, I’m fast, however they’re giving away my location. I kick them off and continue running. I’m running in circles on the path of this mountain.

My perspective changes. I’m not me anymore. I see me running in circles around this mountain. It could be a nice break, but I get more panicky. I just see myself running seemingly aimlessly around this pinkish mountain! He’s starting to gain on me. I start to sweat.

Ok good, I’m me again. Almost to the top. I keep running, I can’t see him anymore. Something starts to shake. I start to shake. It’s not a mountain after all, it’s a volcano! I’m eight inches from the top. The shaking gets more intense. I lose my footing, and I’m falling. Right before I get to the ground…I wake up. It’s over.

tags



I don’t really remember my dreams, but I do know that I have a lot of falling dreams, since I always catch myself before I wake up. In order to incorporate my monologue into a falling dream, I needed to have my protagonist falling from something, so I decided to have her falling from Penis Mountain. Perhaps it’s somewhat corny, but the somewhat obvious symbolism is that a woman in a patriarchal society will never have the same amount of power as a male. I also have a lot of chasing dreams; mine usually involve one person and someone I know, but I thought it would make the dream more general and relatable if the men were all familiar, somewhat familiar and strangers. Since some women get abused by their relatives, some get date raped by someone they barely know, and others get attacked by complete strangers. I changed the ‘escort’ from my monologue into a guy at the gas station, both men which can make women feel uncomfortable. The escort, however, can make her feel even weaker since he is there in the first place to protect her, but I digress. I recently had a dream where I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t, and I think that fit in well with this dream scenario. I’m going for an atmosphere of fear and solitude, which I believe the silence helps to create.

In my monologue, I talked about stilettos, but I didn’t want them to hurt the woman’s speed (since I didn’t want the man to catch her), however I thought the use of noise was similar to the idea behind women wearing stilettos in the first place - to get noticed and to be heard. She’s running in circles, because she’s never going to be completely safe from an attack.

The sexual imagery at the end is somewhat in your face which may hurt my point, however I didn’t want this story to be completely dark without any element of humor, so I guess it’s up to the reader to decide whether or not he/she likes it. The ‘eruption’ of the volcano marks the end of the dream similar to how the ‘eruption’ of a penis
asutherl (Mandy Sutherland) 63131, January 04
I think this story really puts a different perspective on the up hill battles women face in a seemingly male dominated society. When you talked about kicking off your heals in order to be unheard, I thought that was a great representation of females kicking off their stereotypes. However, when you get to the top and found yourself in an even more difficult situation, did you give up? what does "lose my footing" really mean? The way I see it, by finding a giant rock and "plugging" (for lack of a better word) the volcano, you could have solved the problem and succeeded in your escape. Why did you fall? I really enjoyed your use of metephors, and really was able to picture what was happening while also getting the message you were trying to send. I just want to make the point that Women, while the majority of men may oppress you, also oppress one another...
JuliusN (Julius Night) 05403, January 04
Julius, I agree that women oppress each other, but this is an argument that has always been unsettling for me. Do women "compete" against each other in the same way that men compete against each other? Do women compete, more or less, for acceptance in a male society? What role does judgment play in our society and how does gender play a part in that? Are women statistically getting more plastic surgery to fit in with the patriarchal standards of beauty that both genders have incorporated or is it something else?

The reason she falls off is simply because I'm always falling in my dreams and it seemed appropriate. I admit that I have not conquered the social standards set for me (I still wear makeup, dress up, etc.) and that's the reason she falls. I didn't want this story to necessarily be empowering, I wanted it to be enlightening. I don't mean to sound pejorative, but I was just writing how I currently feel about the state of affairs and social obligations placed on women in contemporary society.
asutherl (Mandy Sutherland) 63131, January 04

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